I would really like to feel for Ted Nugent and his recent string of issues with the government, considering his past career in music.  I have said it before and I’ll say it again, he is one of the best guitarists to come out of the 70s.  But maybe Ted’s current string of bad luck is just a little bit of bad karma coming back to haunt him.  No, I don’t believe he is a danger to the president, but his far right sometimes hate filled rants have not gone unnoticed by a sane world.  Isn’t it a shame that he had to open his mouth in the first place and ruin what had been a really great career.  He has made it very hard to say anything nice about his amazing catalog of great music when he seems to be more well known these days for his psychotic political rants and his love of killing furry creatures with a bow and arrow.  I guess he won’t be around much longer, though, since he claims he won’t be alive if Barack Obama is re-elected.  We will miss you, Ted.  It has been entertaining.  On the bright side, maybe I’ll be able to go back to peacefully enjoying his music again without cringing at the thought of what might happen if he opens his mouth for something other than singing.

It’s getting to the point where you can’t get anything at McDonald’s.  First they decided to not use pink slime in all of their fine and tasty meat-like products.  We already know they don’t use kangaroo meat and ground up earthworms, despite the accusations made by foolish doubters several years back.  But now they even frown on the use of spit as a sweetener in their drinks.  Have they gone too far with this one?  After all, saliva is a tradition in most good restaurant food.  If you send something back because you find something wrong with it you have to realistically expect to get it back with a little spit in it.  Must be McDonald’s isn’t high enough on the restaurant food chain for its executives to realize this fact.

It’s 4/20, people.  If you don’t know what that means then you have been living in a cave for the last 20 years.  For those of you who do know what that means, do you have any clue what you did today?  Don’t worry, I’m sure someone got video of it and you can regret it over and over again on YouTube tomorrow.  It’s good to have friends who care about you that much.  For those of you who will wake up tomorrow in a jail cell, I’m sure there is a perfectly good reason why your ass is sore.  I wouldn’t worry about it.  For those of you who will wake up in a strange bed, do you really want to know why that woman next to you looks suspiciously like a man.  Get the hell out of there before she wakes up and you find out why your ass hurts.  Yes, I know you only use it for medical reasons.  Happy 4/20 to all who are celebrating it.

I finally had to try the new Doritos tacos that Taco Bell is now offering.  Sure, they probably have twelve times my recommended level of sodium, but what the hell, sometimes you just have to do it.  I have been very good up until now.  They were delicious.  Doritos and tacos are two things that are just made for each other, all of the tasty nacho cheese goodness packed with spicy meat, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese and a globule of sour cream.  How could this possibly go wrong?  So now I will have to wait about a week before I can eat anything with any form of salt in it.  This salad of grass from the backyard is the best I have ever had.  Shame I can’t have any dressing on it.

In other news:  There is a new donate button on the home page at www.myfunnystories.com.  Think of it as a tip jar.  The website is free (in more than one way) and I’d like to keep it that way.  It is not free for me to do this, though.  I appreciate any change anyone feels like throwing my way to help defer the costs.  The button is a link to PayPal’s secure site, where you can safely leave your tip.  Thank you very much.  Thanks for stopping by.  I hope you come back again soon.  And forgive me for sounding like I’m running a PBS station.

Sad news, everyone, television legend Dick Clark has died. I think he is most remembered for bringing the world American Bandstand, the show that introduced several generations to tons of new pop music. The show was on when my parents were teenagers. I remember watching it when I was a teenager. In fact, one of the regular segments from the show inspired me to write a song. That was the segment where two teenagers from the audience got to come up and rate a new song. Hearing them say such things as, “I give that one an 85, Dick. It’s got a good beat. You can dance to it,” just kind of stuck in my head. My response was a rather sarcastic song called “It’s Got a Good Beat.” You can find that song on the music page at www.myfunnystories.com.  Dick Clark left a lasting impression on the world.  I still respect his accomplishments, even if I was mocking his show a bit.  New Year’s Eve will miss him.  Goodbye, Dick.

Here is the latest edition of the Hypertension Diaries. The fun continues. One of the great things about trying to control high blood pressure is the food you eat. Experts recommend cutting back on your sodium intake. 1300 milligrams a day is what they say a person with blood pressure issues should shoot for. This seems simple enough until you start looking at the actual sodium levels in foods. Dining out is especially exciting. If you have a smartphone, it is possible to look online and find the nutrition information on many of the choices available in most chain restaurants. Do you know how much sodium there is in most everything. There are way too many dishes out there that not only have the entire daily recommend salt intake but have two or three times that level. America loves its salt. Mmmm, yummy. It might be easier to just put a gun to my head than try to find something to eat in the average restaurant. You would think that a salad would be a good choice, but then reality kicks you in the gonads and says no, not if you want anything on it. Some of them are better than others, though. You can forget about any of the good stuff you used to eat. I found that a steak was a good bet. Just don’t go for any marinades or toppings, and that sauce is definitely out of the question. Now you just have to watch the sides. And whatever you do, don’t start with a bowl of soup. That sucker is a sodium hot bed. It does a body good, my ass. I find that if it is anything that you like, then it probably isn’t good for you. Can you bring me a hunk of plain lettuce and that kid’s fruit cup? The fruit doesn’t come in a syrup, does it. That crap probably has salt in it. God forbid anyone should make any food item without adding a lifetime supply of salt in it. It’s the American way. Bring me a Mountain Dew. What, no caffeine? Life is good. At least I still have the sugar. Bring me box of donuts, would you?